I suddenly feel very alone

I’ve blogged before and fairly quickly became part of a blogging community that shared the same interests (education and then retirement).  That felt great. Shared interests, mutual support and useful sources of information and advice.  With this blog however, I feel that I may be a in a community of very few.

There are lots of blogs about alcohol but they tend to be about the process of giving up or about how terrible it is living with someone with alcoholism.  Mine must be a strange niche.  I love alcohol. I love pubs.  I love people who drink and who are passionate about making wine, beer and gin, but I also recognise that alcohol is dangerous; more addictive than many illegal drugs and a powerful psychoactive chemical.  It is very much a “sweet poison” as Ben Jonson said.

I want to be able to live with alcohol, to be in control of it rather than it be in control of me.  I want to enjoy it again without feeling that it is the be all and end all of existence.  I may ultimately fail in my attempt to redefine my relationship to alcohol.  If I do, I will have to consider total abstinence and with that I fear my life will be poorer, less interesting.  If I can reclaim control and moderation of alcohol I hope that this could be a path others may wish to tread, after all, not everyone wants to give up the undoubted delights of fine wines and beers.

Now where are they, the people with a love hate relationship to alcohol?  Is the painful truth that once alcohol takes hold and harms more than it pleases, the point of reclaiming control has gone for good? I hope not. I would love to hear about any success stories concerning cutting back and moderating alcohol consumption. It would make me feel a little less alone.

Jim x

 

 

About dealingwithalcoholdependency

Semi retired professional working in education and social work. Exploring how I became alcohol dependent and hoping I can find a way to moderate rather than abstain. It may be a losing battle but reluctant at this stage to lose this constant companion.
This entry was posted in Alcohol, cutting back on alcohol, sobriety and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I suddenly feel very alone

  1. Im going to pray for you. If you are alcoholic like I am, alcoholism wants to kill you. Fast or slow it wants you dead. And the insane lie it tells you is that you can control it. You can enjoy it like you did in the beginning. Enjoy it without the consequences like you used to. It’s the illusion that we would like to believe and pursue. It can’t be done. Read the book. Accept the truth. Or don’t. I know how this ends unfortunately. I’ve seen it too many times.

    Like

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